11 Coffee Practices that Make Me Cringe

11 Coffee Practices that Make Me Cringe


Stop the madness. Coffee offenders can come in all shapes and forms. It can be a barista of a hipster coffee shop or even your friend with the fancy espresso machine. These are coffee practices that should be punishable offenses.

I'm sorry if this is you. I hope this post is enlightening.

1. Re-heating coffee.
The idea of a re-heated latte just bums me out.

2. Asking for a latte "extra hot". 
Are you also one of those people who like their pizza cold and their popcorn slightly burnt?

3. Instant coffee.
I don't need to say much about this one. There's a cheaper substitute out there. It's dirt.

4. An expensive latte without latte art.
My $4 latte deserves AT LEAST that generic heart design. If you make make me a squirrel, you might earn yourself a tip!

5. Coffee shops with expensive equipment that brew the shittiest coffee. / Coffee shops that don't clean their equipment regularly.
These usually go hand in hand. Do you drink what you brew? I can tell because you have an expensive machine, but your coffee tastes watery. Why did I pay for this?

6. People who think espresso is just stronger coffee.

7. Pre-ground Coffee Beans
I bet you can't tell coffee from dog food. 

8. Hipsters who say they like bright roasts.
Why am I not surprised? Oh stereotypes.

9. Using Old Beans
The shelf life of beans is 1-2 weeks. I will not be served something that's been on the shelf for months.

10. Coffee Shops that Shake their Iced Lattes
What are you doing? This is not a bar. I did not order a mojito,. I love the layered look of espresso mixing with milk. When you shake it, it looks like a very, very sad latte.

11. High End Coffee Shops that Use Low Quality Milk
So - let's be real. Most organic foods taste the same as their counterparts. Milk is not one of these foods. If I'm spending $4 on a latte, I better see the red container with the Horizon's cow behind the register. (For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Horizon is a brand of milk that is outrageously expensive, but it is VERY delicious. I only wish they paid me for the praise I give them.)

On that very passionate note, I'll end my rant. If you have any other coffee faux pas, comment below.

If you like this post, you might like these posts about good cups of coffee.

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