Stop the madness. Coffee offenders can come in all shapes and forms. It can be a barista of a hipster coffee shop or even your friend with the fancy espresso machine. These are coffee practices that should be punishable offenses.
I'm sorry if this is you. I hope this post is enlightening.
1. Re-heating coffee.
The idea of a re-heated latte just bums me out.
2. Asking for a latte "extra hot".
Are you also one of those people who like their pizza cold and their popcorn slightly burnt?
3. Instant coffee.
I don't need to say much about this one. There's a cheaper substitute out there. It's dirt.
4. An expensive latte without latte art.
My $4 latte deserves AT LEAST that generic heart design. If you make make me a squirrel, you might earn yourself a tip!
5. Coffee shops with expensive equipment that brew the shittiest coffee. / Coffee shops that don't clean their equipment regularly.
These usually go hand in hand. Do you drink what you brew? I can tell because you have an expensive machine, but your coffee tastes watery. Why did I pay for this?
6. People who think espresso is just stronger coffee.
7. Pre-ground Coffee Beans
I bet you can't tell coffee from dog food.
8. Hipsters who say they like bright roasts.
Why am I not surprised? Oh stereotypes.
9. Using Old Beans
The shelf life of beans is 1-2 weeks. I will not be served something that's been on the shelf for months.
10. Coffee Shops that Shake their Iced Lattes
What are you doing? This is not a bar. I did not order a mojito,. I love the layered look of espresso mixing with milk. When you shake it, it looks like a very, very sad latte.
11. High End Coffee Shops that Use Low Quality Milk
So - let's be real. Most organic foods taste the same as their counterparts. Milk is not one of these foods. If I'm spending $4 on a latte, I better see the red container with the Horizon's cow behind the register. (For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Horizon is a brand of milk that is outrageously expensive, but it is VERY delicious. I only wish they paid me for the praise I give them.)
On that very passionate note, I'll end my rant. If you have any other coffee faux pas, comment below.
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