2015 Round Up: Worst Customer Service Experiences

Good customer service is what makes me want to drive to Aasna (1 hr drive) for Indian food. It's what makes me want to fill out surveys for the Apple phone support people. It makes me want to write the most positive, glowing reviews for Nomad Tibetan Restaurant on Yelp. It makes me want to tell everyone how awesome The North Face is. No- I'm not being sponsored.

On the contrary, bad customer service experiences make me extremely upset. No one likes feeling like they've been wronged. They want to be treated fairly. Here's a round up of the worst customer service experiences of 2015. I hope they make you smile.

This Degree is fo' show.

The time my doctor Googled my allergy symptoms and charged a co-pay.

That's what I call Service

I rarely get massages, but one of the few times I did, the masseuse said he never missed work- even when he falls super sick. He said he would come in even if he was puking blood.

Stepping Over Dollars to Pick Up Dimes (or in this case $3)
When I went to my favorite specialty pizza place (expensive), and was told that I was abusing the system when I asked them to not skimp me on the sauce when I asked for less cheese.

Money Grows on Trees, and Looks like your Tree is Dead
That time I went to repair my laptop and I was being sold HARD on buying a new one. I had already made it clear I wasn't interested. When I mentioned cost to be a factor, the technician said it's not that much to upgrade. Let's say these are fruit computers, and yes it is.

I just pretend to work here because it makes me seem cool.
That barista at the speciality coffee shop that had no clue about the difference in her espressos. This isn't WalMart - you should know about your product. Especially if I'm paying a premium for it.

Capitalism
Not really customer service, but: Charging extra for soy and gluten-free. Capitalizing on people's health ailments is just so wrong.

You're trying to poison me!
Not customer service, but this makes me upset: Using non dairy creamer instead of milk.

There's no such thing as a free coffee.
This one's not so bad, but I really hate wasting good food/drink: That one time when my barista made me a cappuccino instead of a latte. I offered the mistake drink to my friend, and the barista poured it out in front of my face. What a waste. I'm a frequent customer of this coffee shop, so it's not like they're not making money on me.

Just Buy a Mac
When I went to an electronics store for help on buying a new computer, I explained which specs I wanted and my logic, the technician just stood there, staring. This made me feel very awkward. When I asked, "What do you think?" The technician simply stated, "I think you should just buy a Mac." That's it. No explanation. Why is it that an Amazon review can tell me more than you? Queue downfall of retail. (Darth Vader theme)

What are you trying to pull here? It's not good espresso- that's for sure. (#puns)
When I saw that a coffee shop was selling me espresso from month old beans and charging me $3.50 for my drink.

You can only play after you eat all your food.
The time I didn't eat all my jalapeno slaw at a lunch place and the waitress came by and said, "If you're not going to eat the slaw, just don't order it."

It's not that I don't empathize, I just don't care.
That time when I emailed this lunch place (see above) about my poor experience and they responded. "Oh my." That's it.

That's how the French do it.
I once went to a hipster brunch place in Austin and ordered chips and salsa. The chips came out all crushed. When I inquired about it to the waiter, he simply shrugged and said "That's how the French do it." He did not replace the chips...

Wanting to Pick a Fight
The time I went to my favorite burrito place and asked for lettuce on the bottom of my bowl and the woman behind the counter proceeded to argue with me about the technicality of whether I was ordering a salad or a burrito bowl.

Nickled & Dimed
That bubble tea place that charges for drinks to be hot, and for drinks to have "no ice". If you ask for "less ice", they won't charge you. Darn- why do you taste so good. I so want to boycott you. #CognitiveDissonance

This one's for the coffee snobs. (Maybe you should have your morning coffee so you're not so cranky.)
A latte has more milk than a cappuccino. Some terminology for you coffee nubes...
Dry: Less milk
Wet: More milk
A wet cappuccino would be a cappuccino with more milk, but not quite as much milk as a latte.
When I ordered a wet cappuccino at a chain coffee place, and the guy proceeded to argue with me and tell me that I was trying to order a dry latte. It's essentially same thing. Technicality. Just add a splash of milk to my cappuccino. Why are you arguing with me?

I don't care if I lose customers. My rent isn't that expensive. #nonewfriends
When I went to one of my favorite beer places downtown, and the beer wasn't how the barista described. When I asked to replace it with a different beer, the barista said no. This is not so bad, but they way he said it was just so rude and condescending. Now I don't go to this beer place any more. $6 cost you a lifetime of customership.

Oh shoot- this is actually a drug front. People don't actually eat here.
That time I went to an Indian restaurant where the owner was on Skype and there was no one else at the restaurant. The food was terrible and tasted like it was cooked days ago. I probably deserved this one. The soundtrack to this meal was her conversation with the motherland.

I can lie through my teeth.
I can tell when bubble tea is old. This one is for all those times I went to bubble tea places and they lied about when they last prepared their boba. When boba sits around for more than a few hours, it tastes like ish.

Wait - we're open? I didn't realize we were trying to be profitable.
This is just kind of an annoyance rather than a customer service experience: those times when I go to specialty coffee shops and they're not set up. They don't have their chai mixture made or their espressos dialed in. Is this a business or am I going to my friend's house to get coffee? I don't have patience for the former.

As Long as I get Paid
That time my ski instructor lost me in a class. When I finally found him 30 minutes later, he matter of factly said, "Oh! There you are!" I'm a novice skier.

We want you to be fat.
That boba place that charges for non-fat milk. (Not that I would ever order non-fat milk. To me, that's just botching your bubble tea. Just the idea of being charged more makes me upset.)

Although I'm a Snobby Foodie, I'm not a jerk. I try to be reasonable before I go super saiyan and complain about people. Take this with a grain of salt and let me know: What are some of your worst customer service experiences? I would love to hear them. In an effort to not be a angry misanthrope, I'll have a "Best Customer Service Experiences" post soon.

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